Due Date

Today is my due date with the twins, but they will be 7 weeks old tomorrow. Very strange!

They had a doctor's appointment a couple days ago and Kellen now weighs 8lbs 6ozs and Toben weighs 7lbs 13ozs. They're growing well! That's over 16lbs of baby - thank goodness I'm not still pregnant with them.

The boys are doing really well, they're still eating every 3 hours during the day and we're working on stretching them to 4 hours for the night feedings (which means we're usually pacifying and/or holding them for an hour beforehand).

Logan and I have both been understandably worn down with the routine of taking care of two preemies but we've also both been starting to come to terms with the reality of having twins.

It has been tough for me to feel like I'm able to bond with each baby like I would have if they had been born separately. Feeding times are more functional and efficient out of necessity than times of togetherness. Nursing has not been going well so far. The babies spent weeks in the hospital only taking bottles and there was a balance of them being too small to have the energy or ability to nurse well and needing to do whatever was necessary for them to get the calories they needed to survive. Now they're bigger but more entrenched in bottle feeding only and finding the energy within myself to get over that hurdle is tough. Plus I'm not sure how I want to balance nursing both at the same time, or nursing one than the other or nursing one and bottle feeding the other then switching them the next time and how does pumping fit in to keep my supply up. And, oh yeah, I have two other kids who need my attention too!

We've also been dealing more with the realization that as identical twins they will always grow up as a unit. Friends, teachers, family and even us will not always know who is who and learning how to help them develop as individuals but still celebrating their "twinness" is daunting.

(Kellen in light blue, Toben in dark blue)

Not too photogenic - we'll keep working on it