It's goes on and on and on

In case you're wondering, having four little ones is still absolutely exhausting and the oppressive monotony of our daily routine still hits us hard. In case our blog makes it look like we're having one party after another and it sure doesn't feel that way while we're living it!

I recognize that we are incredibly fortunate that I am able to work primarily from home and that Logan is able to attend school online so most of the time we are both around and able to divide and conquer when needed. I cannot imagine if either of us had to do it with all four of them alone for hours on end! I do not believe it is an accident that all sorts of "random" details fell into place to put us in this set up during this phase of our family!

However, it is still tough! It seems like someone always needs to be changed, is hungry, thirsty, needs discipline, should be sleeping, is arguing, crying, vomiting, screaming, complaining, whining.... you get the idea

I don't take pictures of those times and rarely blog about them (even though they occur seconds before and after almost every picture that I do post!)

It just never lets up and for every rewarding, priceless moment there are hours of hard moments where you try to remember what is was like before you had so much responsibility!

Logan finishing up the last feeding of the night (Kellen)

And not even 15 mins later after waking up, switching babies and feeding the other one - second verse, same as the first! (Toben)

I feel strongly that God wants us to live in such a way that our lives are not possible without total dependence on Him and we are working to put ourselves in those situations rather than to seek comfort and ease.

Sometimes you just wish you could sleep in late, lay around all day, go out to eat (without everyone turning to see the circus that just walked in), see a movie or a concert and do whatever you please whenever the mood strikes without someone constantly hanging off of you or having to worry what four (or five) other people may need from you in the next 15 mins.

(And yes, it's possible to get a babysitter and go do some of those things but there's still planning, preparation, pumping, money and discipline issues involved. You never truly get a break from being a parent!)

We are constantly being refined by the fire as our selfishness is exposed and we learn to die to self. And thankfully those four needy little people sure are cute!